Friday, November 12, 2010

Election Day!

       As you all know, Election Day is coming up soon, and I am super-psyched about voting. I am just going to waltz right in there, slap down my ID, and vote, and then I will promptly register to make my vote "official." That's one of the reasons I'm writing this, to remind you all to register on your way out of the voting place on Election Day. Otherwise, people, YOUR VOTE WILL NOT COUNT. Now, I don't know about you, but I will be voting across the board for the person who is favored to lose, because I believe in the enduring value of a good underdog story. This is something I will address in my next entry, "The Enduring Value of a Good Underdog Story."
       I'm not really going to do that, of course. There's no way I'm going to spend that much time researching to find out where every candidate stands in the polls, so more than likely I will just be wingin' it on a few. And I'm gonna skip the propositions entirely, unless there is some sort of proposition to do away with propositions. Let's face it, they tend to be pretty long-winded, and I believe that some of them even require a short answer. And I don't have time for that kind of malarkey. So with that said I would like to propose a toast, to reading less and to a more streamlined voting system.
      To be honest with you, I don't know shit from Shinola about anyone I am supposed to be voting about, or any of the candidates for anything in the entire America, for that matter, with the exception of one, of course, and I'm talking about the witch lady. I predict she will win her Senatorcy in a ginormous landslide with the help of her minions and Satan. In the meantime she will probably continue to say whatever insane shit pops into her witchy little head, and she will continue being highly doable in spite of all this.
"From there they may go on to attend the University of Buttfucking."

       If I'm not mistaken there are also a number of issues that people are concerned with. I don't know what they actually are, but I certainly hope that education isn't one of them, because I turned out just fine and I never learned to count. To me that proves that education doesn't matter. What matters is money, and I think that will be key this election, and I want to say that on the issue of money I am for it. I'm just gonna need somebody to count mine for me.

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